Czech Plush Monkey's Adventures!
            Monkey sees and does stuff.
StarParty!

Monkey joined the Sacramento Valley Astronomical Society before they found out about him and changed their by-laws to prevent such problems. His first act as a new member was to attend the StarParty! to watch NASA smash satellite Deep Impact into Comet Tempel-1.

"It's for science," Monkey says, "and fireworks," he giggles. "It's the 4th-of-July!" For once he's at least 66.67% correct.
 

"I can put it together!!" Opice nearly tumbles into the box.
Let's get the scope set up!		 Sit and watch, Monkey.
Carefully securing Bill's reflector telescope.

      (Bill's boxed scope)


 

Bill sits Monkey a safe distance from the delicate and expensive scientific instrument. Then he and Joe secure the telescope while Monkey chafes, "Be careful. I should hold that. Don't you want my help?"
Look at Opice looking. You can almost feel his tension. Uh-oh, Bill's turned his back.
Too much temptation.
The Monkman makes his move!
Monkey mounts the mechanism.

In case you're wondering what's on Monkey's head, it's his "Interstellar Propeller" beanie. He wore it special to fit in with the Astronomical Society.

Official Pilot's License

"And I'm licensed," he proudly proves to you.

Bill, Monkey, trees, dusk.

Night's falling. Bill puts Opice back down on his chair. "Stay!" he commands like it would work.

How naive is that? Especially in that Monkey's interest has switched to another telescope being set up.

  
"What's that?" he asks the guy with the round object. "Some kind of jug on its side. What's in it? It's red like my jacket. Gimme some."
         Astroscan temptation.
He's told it's an astroscan telescope. (Good for seeing big fields.) Opice takes the answer as permission to climb on and try using it before he knows how to use it--his usually disastrous style.
Hand to the aperture
       Look here, don't hold there.
"What am I looking at?" he asks. "I think it's a furry pink astronama-thingy. Is that where the Deep Impact can happen?"
 

Monkey's shown how to squint thru the eyepiece without obscuring the aperture with his mitt.

"That's it! Now I can see the big field, trees, and Bill like they're real close! Wowww."

 Opice sees the big field and Bill.

"WOW!" he says again, bigger and louder because of how wow what he next saw was. "Now that's my kind of telescope. I'm going to see all the way back to the Big Bang with that one."

 Cannon scope

Surprised that Monkey understands light speed, let alone any cosmology?

Before you get too impressed, click/hear where he learned his science. [80k file from Firesign Theater, "We're All Bozos on this Bus."]
"Ooops!
Loading the cannon.
My beanie fell in."
 
Inside the observatory
Ready to watch the comet smashing.
Expensive toys, Monkey's joys.
Opice takes a seat in the observatory (note how the roof opens). "I'm ready. Smash the comet!" he commands.
It won't happen until after 11pm, he's told. And meanwhile the stargazers have to find the tiny comet with their scopes.
The telescope is controlled by a computer. (There's no controlling Monkey.) His constant questions have driven off all the astronomers.


Epilogue: (a fancy word for the part of the story that's after the story and explains what the story didn't)

Greeks were big on epilogues
to end a play or fable.
What was Greek to them remains to us.
Aesopian as Babel.

Monkey likes it plain and simple
so he can guess whodunit.
If complications cause confusion
he'll be the first to drub it.

Thus read it now that Monk saw naught,
the comet small and distant.
When Impact hit he felt distraught
it being scope resistant.

Therefore friends, this story ends
with Monkey out in the darkness.
There is no more to his tale of yore
Another Opice* stark mess.

*remember his name is pronounced OH-pits-ah
and he especially loves doggerel. "The worser the better!"
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