The Unfortunate Tuba Incident

Monkey found this tuba resting behind a venue. Some of his Ophir friends were seated at a table nearby (not drinking beer). Of course he politely asked them, "May I get some pictures of me with the tuba?"

Sure! they said. Go ahead. Ain't our tuba.

So he did. First he sat beside it for perspective. Then he climbed in and puckered-up to blow a note.

He huffed high and he puffed low. He fingered the keys and he pursed his puffer, but he could not make the tuba toot. The more he tried to oom-pah-pah the less successful he was. Finally he decided he had to investigate the instrument in case it was clogged by too many notes. The moment he put his head in the horn he got a full blast of his own bad breath.

Suddenly and all at once his bartending, his jubilating, his kissing Eddie all came back up on him and he chucked up from the yuck. Wouldn't you know it? That's when the instrument's owner and Officer Babbage arrived.

"That's my horn he's hurling in!" yelled the tuba player.

The policeperson charged, "Unless you have a Musician's Badge, you're in a heat of trouble monk."

Monkey didn't have a Musician's Badge. He didn't have a Band Companion Badge. He had a lowly Media Badge. Curiously George, Officer Babbage's horse, made the arrest.