A Year in the Life of a Czech Plush Monkey.
Week 16:  2 - 8 May 2004
Read Monkey's shocking-pink tabloid confession.
Can you see me now?

Sunday, 2nd "Can I have my old job back, Václav?"

Monkey needs cash, fast. He's planned a busmonkey's holiday to the Navajo Nation and is short on money (as always). If he can get a job at Little Prague Bohemian Restaurant, he can make some quick dinero.

Eva & Václav usually pay him in free* food and baked-goods; but because his work for the Native American community is important, they decide to hire him short-term as their contribution. Václav has reservations, however, all puns intended.

*(free soup or salad with any main entrée.)

Pivo on tap.

Monday, 3rd
Tending Bar.

Pilsner Urquell is one of the world's top beers, which is the same as saying it's Czech of course! The first thing to learn is how to properly fill a glass to get that perfect foam atop a half-liter of golden, liquid bread.

Bohemians have dozens of synonyms for pivo (beer), "liquid bread" being one of them. Monkey practiced and practiced until he finally felt ready to draw a draft for a customer. Unfortunately, after sleeping off the experience, by tomorrow he'll have forgotten what it was he practiced all day today.

Promoting the Czech stuff.

Tuesday, 4th

The next thing a bartender needs to know is his stock. Czechs swear by Becherovka from "Carlsbad" a.k.a. "Karlsbad" and korrectly as Karlovy Vary.

While the customer tries the famous Bohemian beverage, Opice reaches for the Chevis Regal.

Reaching for the good stuff

Wednesday, 5th

Today is "Cinco de Mayo" which has an important Czecho-Californian Connection

This is how Monkey explained it to me. You have to pay close attention because his logic is unique. Warning: once you get it, you're reasoning will be forever as hopelessly befuddled as his is.

Napoleon III invaded Mexico intending to make it part of his empire. (What 19th Century Imperialist wouldn't?) He sent troops to capture Mexico City, but on the way the French army went thru Puebla where, on 5 May 1862, the Mexicans defeated them. Napoleon sent 28,000 more soldiers and eventually took both cities. He then sent his cousin, Archduke Maximilian of Austria, to rule Mexico for him.

Well, the proxy rule failed when the Mexicans rebelled and made Max way dead (by firing squad) in 1867. The remaining French forces fled. Way to go, Mexico!

Now then, here's the dots connecting Czechs to 5-May-Day. Max was the brother of the Hapsburg Emperor of Austria-Hungary, Franz Josef [Emp. Frank Joe]. The emperor's heir was Archduke Franz Ferdinand who lived in Konopište, Czech Republic. (Yes, that's is the archduke whose assassination triggered World War I. Talk about a drama queen!)

Thereby, Cinco de Mayo celebrates the ousting of invaders whose family was responsible for the First World War which ended many a California minor's preferred Sunday morning activities as captured by Charles Christian Nahl in his 1872 painting, "Sunday Morning in the Mines." The original resides at the Crocker Art Museum and this interpretation on the side of a building in Sacramento. And that's why California Czech monkeys party on 5th of May.

See how simple these associations are? Opice even convinced the minors to climb down and join him in the celebration.

Painting of painting on side of building.
Click above to see an alternative view of the original.

Climbing the Pastry Case

Ogling a Fruit Basket cake. Thursday, 6th

Back to work! Customer's are waiting... and waiting.... and waiting as Monkey stands transfixed before the open pastry refrigerator door thinking,

Look at that cake. Oh! And that one there! I wonder what this white Fruit Basket tastes like, or that bright green Princes Cake?! Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I'm going to try them all.


Friday, 7th

Monkey makes change, change into chance. He can't count well and starts getting silly in the till(y).

Playing in the till.

Bussing the table.
Can I get you anything else? Don't forget to leave me a nice tip.

Saturday, 8th Tip fight!

You thought Cinco de Mayo complicated? Wait till you read this. Monkey explained in his confession that his today is not this today because in reality today he's in Ganado, AZ (Navajo Res.) running computers for the Native American Arts & Crafts Auction.

However, in web reality, Opice is having a tug-of-war with waiter Chris in what started as a dispute over a mean penny tip.

Václav got very angry at both servers, especially when they both pointed fingers at the other, "It's his fault!" There's going to be a reckoning next week.

Christ fights Monkey for tip.
"Yours!"      "No, yours!"

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