A Year in the Life of a Czech Plush Monkey.
Week 10:  21 - 27 March 2004
Pop-up book with proof of planet Pluto
3-D planets in pop-up book depict our solar system.

Sunday, 21st      News flashback

Opice Monkey loves science. (He never misses StarTrek.) That's why he got very excited when a 10th planet, Sedna, was found orbiting our sun. He often says, "With enough astronomy, telescopes can find stuff."

It also happens that Pluto is Monkey's 7th favorite planet. He took it very personally when certain nit-pickers began spreading rumors that neither Sedna nor Pluto were real planets. He opened his Universe pop-up book to show those people they are wrong, wrong, wrong!


Monday, 22nd

Having cleaned those anti-Pluto guyz's cosmic clocks, it was time to clean The Guys' banana plants of dead growth. This once-a-year task justified Opice's buying a machete, of course.

Monkey: machete master.
Trimming bananas with his machete

Hacking off the high dead leaves.

Tuesday, 23rd
Job well done!

Look at all the leaf litter Opice created. Now someone needs to rake up the mess.

"That's not my job," Opice announces sauntering away in search of sugar cane to slash & burn.

Machete-monk atop his pile of debris

Monkey hears Dan ask for email.

Wednesday, 24th
Tech-TV Dude!

Opice's a computer geek--a monkgeek. He watches TheScreenSavers whenever he can. His favorite host is Dan "Foo" Huard because Monkey emailed him a question and knows, in his heart of hearts, some day Dan will give good tech support in response.

Won't you Dan?
You said, "Email me your questions." Ok? I did. Where's the answer to my FAQ [Fan Asked Query]?

DAN, Opice's Tech-TV connection
Monkey is a "Foo Fan."

Thursday, 25th
Monkey's joins in his first internet
denial of service attack.

A viewer called TheScreenSavers show asking how to get more people to visit his website. Then he boasted, "My server's uncrashable!"

The hosts (DAN, Kevin, Sarah, Patrick...) warned, "You shouldn't brag like that. Someone needs to be taught a lesson. Ok, everybody, he wants hits; let's give 'em to him!!!"

Monkey rushed to the computer and typed in the silly caller's web address... and helped crash the braggart's server.

"Hurray for us!" Opice applauded. "Monkgeeks rule!"

Give him what he wishes for!

Cuddly cyber attack [Webmaster's note: TheScreenSavers "attack" actually happened on 16 March. Unfortunately, Monkey watches the show in rerun the morning after, i.e. Mar 17th. There's no proof Opice overloaded anyone's server--but don't tell him that. Most monkgeeks, like hackers, have delusions of grandeur.]
Connection to URL overloaded!
Tom laughs at Monkey's mistake
Tom "spills the cat out of the beans."

Friday, 26th

Tom laughs at Monkey's denial of service story during dinner. "Don't you know that program airs at night? That was a re-run you were watching."

This upset Opice a lot. "But at least I tried," he whimpered his feelings hurt. He couldn't finish eating supper and had to go straight to dessert.

[Quote Carmen Miranda, The Gang's All Here, 1943.]

Loveable, Luggable, Laptop

Saturday, 27th

Several of Monkey's friends are übergeek computer nerds [not naming names, Tom]. When they get together they like to compare their hardware. Monkey's very proud of what he's got. His laptop, for instance, always beats the competition in a number of areas. He has the oldest, slowest, heaviest, and battery deadest computer of any of his pals.

Well, sorta. Ken's personal computer museum contains equipment that predates Opice's notebook by decades.

"But mine's luggable!" Monkey defiantly declares. And he means it. His machine is about an Osborne light of a UNIVAC.

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