A Year in the Life
of a Czech Plush Monkey. |
Week 46: Nov. 28 - 4 Dec. 2004 |
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Sunday, 28th "Oh my poor banana plants." Monkey sobs. "They're melting. They're melting!" He's right. Their leaves do sorta melt when hit by frost. In a couple days they'll be nothing but stalks with brown, feathery bits. In a week, the stalks will yellow and collapse, as well. A month from now the days will be getting longer again and Opice will start thinking about next year's crop. "Oh joy!" |
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Tuesday, 30th Some folk don't like to visit the dentist. Opice doesn't like to be like anyone except himself. "I always enjoy visiting the Tooth Dr." he informs Ann as she elevates the dentist's chair. "I like riding the plastic wrapped leather recliner. I like hearing the sound of the drill in the next room. And best of all, I like to spit!" |
| Monkey's hygienist is Ann. She is the doctor's
sister. Ann and Dr. Larry know the dental drill.
Ann x-rays Monkey's mouth. She asks him all the usual
questions. "Do you floss?" She takes one more x-ray, a close-up, for billing's sake.. She gives both pictures to Dr. Larry for his final evaluation. |
(toothless x-ray) |
"Still no tooth, Monkey. I know you keep hoping you'll
grow a wisdom tooth-- "Root canals?" Opice asks showing how smart he is. "That pretty much represents what I was thinking," the dentist
agrees handing |
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December 1st, Wednesday Disclaimer: The following is a true story. Only the chronology has been expanded to fit the internet space available. That and the dull events left out; Monkey's involvement embellish. Therefore, you can believe it! Opice's house's furnace/air-conditioner died. ABC Plumbing Heating & Air came to remove the old and install the new. That makes for a very expensive adventure. Therefore, this calls for a lot of Monkey's attention. Opice worries as Paul unhooks the old unit. "Where will Lorretta's cat sleep tonight?" |
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Before Paul or Steve (who's already hiding from you-know-who) answers, Monkey bounds over to the ABC truck. There's nothing more enticing than a big box to Opice, unless it's a big box covered by bigger wrapping paper, tied with a huge bow, and tagged with a gift label: "For Monkey." It doesn't matter if the package is addressed to Monkey or not. It's big--it's his. He is a strong believer in the power of positive thinking. He believes in "Mine over matter." "If it matters," he declares, "it's mine!" |
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Thursday, 2nd Monkey inspects each compartment as the panels are removed. He not only provides quality assurance, he delivers sidewalk-supervision!
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Monkey pulls the gas line apart to help. "I'm bleeding the line," Opice says authoritatively. The gas makes a lot of noise as it blasts from the open valve. It also stinks. Monkey needs to use one of his feet to hold his nose. "Sure seems like a lotta bleeding gas," he coughs. |
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Paul goes to the truck. Monkey goes into the duct. By the time the installer returns with a gas shut-off wrench, Opice has diagnosed the old system's problem. "You see!" he boasts, "This was done wrong. You have to get your ducts in a row. The person who installed the first system didn't do that. These ducts are cattywampous!" |
"I'll get some duck (sic) tape from the tool box. "Wait a minute." Monkey looks around. "Where did Steve go? Is he doing something without me? I better find him before I miss something." |
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Friday, 3rd Steve is in the attic fixing the other unit. Monkey says he has never been up in there. "Too scary. Spiders and pink woolly stuff that sticks to my fur." I wonder how he knows about the pink fiber glass insulation if he's never been in the attic? Opice answers my question with a question. "Is this interogation going to be multiple choice? I'm not good at faking essay tests." |
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The tech hands Opice the bad cuircuit board for "safe keeping" while he swaps-in the new. Monkey explains to him, "This is like a computer motherboard, except this one has no USB ports. And no ISA, PCI, or AGP slots. Not even an 8086 - 16 bit CPU. No wonder it crashed." Steve went to college for years to become a heating cooling specialist certified to climb under houses and go into attics. He scratches his head, rubbing more glass wool into his hair before asking, "You're speaking Czech, right? I don't understand a word you're talking about."
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Saturday, 4th This is the outside unit's circuit panel. Monkey decides to try swapping out it's old, broken circuit for the newer, old, bad one from the attic. Why? "Because..." |
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After unsuccessfully forcing the board
into a place it didn't belong, Opice decides he'd rather pull
cable. He's good at that you might remember. |
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Paul & Steve give Monkey the wires they want threaded into the gray plastic sleeve. "No problem." Opice assures. |
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